The importance of cultural sensitivity
Child care and contact is always a delicate matter in any divorce case, involving bargaining, compromise, high emotional investment and, sometimes, considerable conflict. If one parent decides to relocate to another country after divorce, the negotiations can be even more fraught and complex. Sometimes international relocation will be in pursuit of career opportunities. But more often it happens because one party wishes to return to the country of their birth. When this happens, the cultural differences of the respective parents and minor children must be taken into account. Different parenting styles and cultural beliefs will inform and influence the approach in international or multicultural child care and contact matters.
Multicultural parenting
A multicultural upbringing can enrich a child’s development and overall wellbeing. The care agreement or parenting plan should embrace cultural diversity and focus on the child’s. This will provide a solid foundation for their future happiness and growth.
Co-parenting across cultural lines creates challenges and opportunities. Cultural backgrounds influence values, beliefs and parenting styles. Effective co-parenting involves recognising cultural values, communicating clearly and agreeing on shared parenting goals to create a peaceful, healthy environment for the child.
Parenting styles are deeply rooted in unique cultural traditions. For example, some cultures emphasise respect for elders and collective family goals, while others prioritise individual achievements and independence. These cultural perspectives influence parenting, from discipline to educational expectations. When co-parents appreciate these cultural roots, they can blend their parenting approaches to respect both backgrounds.
Accommodating religious differences
Religious and spiritual beliefs are integral to many families’ identities. Parents may want to consider how religious practices will be woven into the child’s life, particularly if the parents do not share a religion or the new home is in a country with different prevailing beliefs. Religious education, observance of customs, and participation in rituals should be honoured in a respectful and balanced manner. Some families with a mix of religious beliefs expose children to both traditions. Others agree to raise their children in one faith or the other. Whatever approach parents adopted during the marriage should continue to be followed. At a time of great upheaval in a child’s life, continuity of core behaviours is critical. The familiarity of ritual can bring comfort and aid adaptation to a new life.
Cross-cultural communication
Different cultures have different rules of etiquette for communication. Even if English is the common language, speaking clearly and at a moderate pace facilitates understanding. Short sentences are more easily understood, especially when stress levels are high.
Active listening aids cross-cultural communication. Active listening involves restating or summarising what the other person has said to confirm understanding and asking questions to clarify points. Humour varies significantly across cultures and should be used cautiously, to avoid causing offence.
Legal frameworks
In child care and contact matters, cultural factors, language and gender equality attitudes can influence legal decisions. The cultural backgrounds of judges and experts may impact their perspectives. Relocation decisions may disproportionately benefit mothers, who are often primary caregivers. However, excluding fathers from child care can be seen as discriminatory. Cultural understandings of gender roles, racial background and parental cultures must be considered in legal contexts.
Seek professional advice
An effective family lawyer understands their client’s cultural background. Family structures and dynamics are closely tied to cultural norms and values. For example, standard holiday arrangements often focus on Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter, as school calendars are pegged to these occasions. However, a culturally competent attorney recognises the cultural and religious observances relevant to their clients, for example Eid or Divali.
A sensitive family attorney actively seeks to understand their client’s cultural context and considers their own potential biases and those of the court to effectively advocate for their clients.
At Simon Dippenaar and Associates Inc., we are experts in family and divorce law. Based in the metros of Cape Town, Johannesburg and Durban, we have deep experience of working with clients from diverse backgrounds and developing parenting plans that respect the blended values of multicultural families, while always putting the child first. Call us on 086 099 5146 or email sdippenaar@sdlaw.co.za if you want to discuss your multicultural or international parenting issues in complete confidence.
Further reading:
Divorce Attorney Cape Town
http://divorceattorneycapetown.co.za/The information on this website is provided to assist the reader with a general understanding of the law. While we believe the information to be factually accurate, and have taken care in our preparation of these pages, these articles cannot and do not take individual circumstances into account and are not a substitute for personal legal advice. If you have a legal matter that concerns you, please consult a qualified attorney. Simon Dippenaar & Associates takes no responsibility for any action you may take as a result of reading the information contained herein (or the consequences thereof), in the absence of professional legal advice.