Broken engagement? Who gets the ring?

Laws concerning engagement ring ownership vary around the world

Regular readers of this blog will know that SD Law likes to keep abreast of legal news from around the world. South Africa is often in the vanguard of progressive legislation, such as our early sanctioning of same-sex marriage. At other times, laws are enacted in other jurisdictions that presage what our own legislators will do. An example of this is regulation of AI. Europe is considerably ahead of South Africa, but we will catch up. We read with some amusement recently a case from Massachusetts, in the US, concerning ownership of the engagement ring in an engagement that was called off. US laws vary from state to state. In addition to looking at how the states differ, we investigated the laws and customs of a few other countries. We compare these with how we handle the situation here in South Africa.

Massachusetts modernises

The article that caught our eye came from the Boston Globe. A court had overturned a long-standing rule that engagement rings in failed relationships should go to the wronged party. Judges had to decide who was at fault for the relationship breakdown. The “victim” could keep the ring.

The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court overturned this law, which had been on the statute books for 65 years. The court said , “More than six decades ago, we recognised that an antenuptial ring generally is understood to be a conditional gift and determined that the donor may recover the ring following a failed engagement, but only if the donor was ‘without fault’. We now join the modern trend adopted by the majority of jurisdictions that have considered the issue and retire the concept of fault.”

The ruling concerned a lawsuit brought by a man against his former fiancée for the return of a $70,000 Tiffany engagement ring. She got to keep the ring.

Absolute vs. conditional gift

While the State of Massachusetts might have decided that awarding blame was an outdated concept, it is still in effect in certain jurisdictions. However, most view the engagement ring either as an “absolute gift” or a “conditional gift”. The fate of the ring depends on which principle applies.

In jurisdictions where the ring is considered an absolute gift, the recipient retains ownership regardless of the circumstances of the breakup. The rationale is that once the ring is given, it becomes the property of the recipient, and there is no obligation to return it. In simple terms, a gift is a gift and, once given, can’t be reclaimed. Many people feel this is the correct moral position. It is confirmed in law in a number of countries. In England and Wales, the engagement ring is presumed to be an absolute gift unless explicitly stated otherwise by the giver.

In other jurisdictions, the ring is seen as a conditional gift, contingent upon the marriage taking place. If the engagement is called off, the ring must be returned to the giver, as the “condition” (marriage) was not fulfilled. Most US states classify engagement rings as conditional gifts. The ring must generally be returned if the engagement is broken off, regardless of fault. Australia’s position is broadly the same, but courts may consider circumstances such as fault or explicit agreements.

Fault-based approach

Some jurisdictions consider who is at fault for the termination of the engagement. This is more complicated than simply asking who called it off. If one party’s misconduct led to the breakup, they may lose the right to claim the ring. For example, John gives Mary a ring. Mary subsequently calls off the engagement, but she does so because she discovers John has been unfaithful to her. In jurisdictions that take a fault-based approach, John would be considered at fault and Mary would keep the ring. If the roles were reversed, Mary would have to return the ring to John. A few states in the US take fault into account. If the giver breaks off the engagement without justification, they may not be entitled to reclaim the ring. In Scotland, as opposed to England and Wales, the law tends to consider the behaviour of both parties and apportion an element of fault.

South Africa

Meanwhile, here in South Africa, once a gift such as an engagement ring or jewellery is given, the ownership passes. Unless there is a specific agreement that the ring must be returned if the engagement is called off, the default assumption is that the recipient can keep the ring, regardless of who ends the engagement. It is an absolute gift. If the ring is a family heirloom, there may be a moral obligation to return it. It may be returned because the recipient still cares about her ex-fiancé’s family and wants to “do the right thing”. Many women opt to return a ring because it is a reminder of a failed relationship or because an engagement ring is a conspicuous item of jewellery to wear, but there is no legal obligation to do so. Some keep the ring as compensation for perceived wrong. Only fairness and conscience dictate what happens, not the law.

Cultural and religious influences

In some jurisdictions or communities, cultural or religious norms may influence the treatment of engagement rings. For example, in certain Middle Eastern countries, local customs and interpretations of religious law might determine the decision. Within South Africa, certain groups may have their own traditions that don’t correspond to the default legal position.

Cape Town family lawyer can help

If your engagement has ended and you are in dispute over the engagement ring or other aspect of wedding planning, or alternatively if you are happily engaged and would like to draw up an antenuptial contract, talk to our family lawyers. We’ll give you legal advice tailored to your unique circumstances. At SD Law we are known for our high EQ and our sensitive approach to family law. Contact Simon on 086 099 5146 or email sdippenaar@sdlaw.co.za for a discussion in complete confidence.

Further reading:

• The importance of an antenuptial contract
• Antenuptial Contract (ANC) – What is an Antenuptial Contract?

Divorce Attorney Cape Town

http://divorceattorneycapetown.co.za/

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