We’ve written a lot about divorce with dignity and the importance of self-care during the divorce process. This US-based website is aimed at men, but the advice below applies to anyone going through a divorce. Our only caveat would be not to rush into the last tip. Wait until you feel emotionally resilient again, or you could wind up hurting yourself as well as the other person.
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Going through a divorce may be the hardest thing you ever do in your whole life, but you don’t have to make it harder than it has to be. These tips will help you move forward to better things as quickly and with as much of your money as possible.
Divorce is hard. Everyone’s emotions are high, and there can be a lot at stake. You need to do everything you can to make the process as painless as possible. Here are six ways to make your divorce a little easier.
Work with an experienced, sympathetic attorney
You need a lawyer to assist you throughout the divorce proceedings, especially if there’s any animosity between both parties. A lawyer will be able to advocate for you when it comes to child custody and the division of the assets.
Think of the kids
If there are children involved in the divorce, that adds another layer of complexity. Depending on their ages, your children may not fully understand what is going on. And whether or not they understand, they’re probably upset.
Keep things as light and happy as possible in front of the kids. Never fight with your ex or talk poorly about them in front of your children, even if your former spouse isn’t doing the same. You might also consider offering to take your children to a therapist or counsellor so they have a safe place to talk about their feelings.
Be your best self
Divorce is a difficult process and some people deal with it better than others. Some men might turn to alcohol and let their personal hygiene go. But if you take this too far, it can end up affecting your life and relationships outside of the divorce.
Sure, you may decide to go out with the guys to let loose one night. But after that, get your life back together. Focus on being healthy and successful. Eat well and exercise to help your physical and mental health; work hard, and spend time with friends and family.
If you’re truly struggling, consider going to therapy yourself. It can be hugely helpful to release your emotions in a safe setting and have someone to talk you through this difficult time.
Take the emotion out of it
Divorces get emotional. However, do your best to suppress your anger and disgust to get down to business.
At this point, you’re making a business deal. If you display too much emotion, it could even make you look bad in front of the court. Maintain your composure and stay cordial — at least, while in court.
Create a support system
You need people around you to build you up and bring joy into your life now more than ever. Lean on your friends and family instead of staying to yourself. Force yourself to go out to dinner with family or camping with friends to keep your mind occupied.
When you can’t be distracted any longer and need to express yourself, have a heartfelt conversation to gain some perspective. Your marriage may not be as strong as it once was, but you can still strengthen other relationships in your life to help fill that newfound gap.
Get a new love interest
Ultimately, if you want to get over your divorce, it may be helpful to find some new companionship. Set up a dating profile and get out there. You never know who you’ll meet! Stay open to the possibilities and experiment with casual dating, aiming for fun before you get ready to settle down again.
Going through a divorce may be the hardest thing you ever do in your whole life, but you don’t have to make it harder than it has to be. These tips will help you move forward to better things as quickly and with as much of your money as possible.
Reprinted from goodmenproject.com
Some links added by SD Law.
We’re here to help
We can support you through divorce proceedings and help you move on to the next stage of your life as quickly as possible. If you would like to talk to someone in confidence, give Simon a call on +27 (0) 86 099 5146 or 076 116 0623 or email sdippenaar@sdlaw.co.za. Simon Dippenaar & Associates Inc. are experts in divorce and family law. We now offer online consultations. We’ll call you back and schedule a meeting at a time that suits you, on the platform of your choosing.
Further reading:
- Choosing the right divorce lawyer or family attorney in South Africa
- Divorcing with dignity: is there such a thing as a peaceful divorce?
- Divorce therapy for children
- Self-isolation and divorce
Divorce Attorney Cape Town
http://divorceattorneycapetown.co.za/The information on this website is provided to assist the reader with a general understanding of the law. While we believe the information to be factually accurate, and have taken care in our preparation of these pages, these articles cannot and do not take individual circumstances into account and are not a substitute for personal legal advice. If you have a legal matter that concerns you, please consult a qualified attorney. Simon Dippenaar & Associates takes no responsibility for any action you may take as a result of reading the information contained herein (or the consequences thereof), in the absence of professional legal advice.